We think you will all be amused by this next little post of ours. You see, to be a true representation of our lives, we'd like to include you on a little phenomenon that we like to call "twin mania" that happens every time we leave the house. We could say it only happens to us, but we know for certain (according to reliable sources--our multiples friends) that it happens to other multiples as well. So to give you a little glimpse into our everyday lives, here is what we hear when we leave the house (replies to well-wishers from our Mommy--but she doesn't really say these things):
"Are they twins?"
(Hmm...what gave it away? Two babies, same size, same clothes, sitting side by side, one mom, one stroller? We ALWAYS get this one).
"Double Trouble!"
(Yes, you are the only one in the universe to say that to us! I will smile and nod and pretend that you were NOT the hundreth person to say that today...good one! And no, they are not double trouble, but doubly wonderful, full of double the giggles and joys and happiness that babies bring. So there.)
"Oh my! Two of them? Better you than me! I can't imagine!"
(Yes, better me than you. And I actually can imagine it. Every day I imagine how wonderful it is to wake up to two sweet smiling faces that love me and are sweet little blessings. So yes, better me than you. I'm the lucky one!)
"I always wanted twins."
(Great. I'm happy for you. But all romantic visions of twins aside, it's LOTS of hard work. People always say this when the girls are sleeping like angels in the stroller...funny thing they never say it when they're both crying at once!)
Said by a cashier at Costco: "Are they homemade?"
(Excuse me? They are children, not a cake! What you are really asking is "did you do fertility treatments?" To which I want to say, it is NONE of your business. But what we really said to this one was "No, actually we found them in aisle 9. It is Costco isn't it? They sell things in bulk here.")
"Twins? Oh my! My cousin's wife's brother's step-mom's son had twins!"
(What a coincidence. I can't believe what a small world it is. Yuck. This one gets very old.)
"Well at least you're done in one shot!"
(Also, one of my favorites that is NONE of your business. But for the record, we may be done, we may not be done, but just because we had two at once does not mean we have to be done. Come on people!)
Person: "Girls or boys?" Mom: "Girls." Person: "Really?"
(Why, yes, really. What clear marker that they are girls did you miss? The two outfits that are entirely pink with flowers on them, the bows on their little heads, the pink dolls in the cart? And besides, why would I lie about such a thing?)
Person: "How old are they? 4 Months?" Mom: "No, 9 1/2 months." Person: Look of skepticism and doubt.
(Okay, so once again I ask, why would I lie about this? And it's not like they are that little for their age. They're on the growth chart people! And I still say, I'm their mom, I think I know how old they are!!)
While getting their picture taken: "Do you shave their heads?"
(Okay, we've only heard this one once, but it was too good to leave out. No, I don't shave their heads. We're just a little slow in the hair department. Apparently taking after Grandpa Beck!)
Person: "Do twins run in your family?" Mom: "Yes." Person: "Oh, so you knew this would happen."
(WHAT? No, we did NOT know this would "happen." And sometimes, if I'm feeling a bit cheeky, I'll give the person the "I was on bed-rest and read every twin book out there and can actually explain to you the probability of our having twins because of heredity and actually, it runs through the woman's genes and so no, the fact that my brother has twins does not have anything to do with me, and sometimes having twins just happens besides or even despite hereditary traits" 5 minute lecture. Then the person smiles, nods, and walks (or runs!) away from the crazy twin lady. Ah-hem, job well done by me.)
"Twins? Oh, do you watch Jon and Kate Plus 8?"
(I laugh at this one! Because people say it to me in hopes that if I haven't seen the show, I'd watch it and feel better about just having two. Sweet of them to think of us. I do LOVE the show and have seen it MANY times. So I nod, and respond that they are an amazing family and we can aspire to be as organized and put together as they are!)
Person: "Are they identical?" Mom: "No, they are fraternal." Person: "Are you sure? They look identical."
(Once again, I must say, why would I lie? And then, if I'm feeling cheeky, I'll give another mini-lecture on twinning (this one is a REALLY good lecture). And yes, I do know for sure that they are fraternal. I'm sure as they get older and continue to look as different as we know them to be, this question won't occur as often. One can only hope.)
And the GRAND FINALE:
"Twins? Well, God has blessed you twice as much!"
(We LOVE this one because the well-wishers really mean it in the sweetest way. Thank you to everyone who sees us in the store, resists saying any of the above crazy things, and instead simply smiles and gives us a sweet bit of encouragement like this. I ALWAYS smile at this one. And if it has been a long day of errands and crazy comments from crazy people, and I hear this, I want to hug the person who says it...but you'll be happy to know I resist.)
As you can imagine, all of the stopping, gawking, and well-wishers make for busy, LONG shopping trips. But mostly people are just trying to be nice, so we put on our happy faces, try to be good for Mom, and get our groove on in the store. Because one thing is for sure, we will not sacrifice our love for shopping just because one million people stop us to chat. No sir!
If you can think of a funny response our Mom should use when talking to these many well-wishers, please share your wit and humor in the comments!